In communication to others we must understand that their are two element that are important in forming relationship, these aspects are immediacy and control.
Immediacy is the relationship of the what is said and how the feeling is exhibited upon contact with someone. It is the degree of liking or attractiveness in a relationship. The verbal must accompany the non verbal so that the message is complete. In alot of situation we hear people say something with their mouth but their expressions are blank and you become confused. You question yourself as to whether you understood correctly. This can vary with gesture or emotions that do not support the spoken message.
Control is the degree to which one person is perceived to be more dominant or powerful. This is where a person conveys a message that may be interpreted as to be dominant or in charge of. It is also by the response that is receive that the participant is perceived to be in control. On the contrary if the response is in defiance the matter at hand would need to be discussed further. There must be a compromise where one person is perceived to be in control and the other is submissive.
Sunday, 27 November 2011
The Use of Jargon
Jargon is the use of technical terms which are only understood by a specific group of people that share a specific activity or interest. The use of jargon should be avoided unless you are within an audience that is totally familiar with the terms.
Usually in Sports or in certain occupations individuals within that circle would use words that each individual within that circle can identify with. Medical Practitioners would use terms within their circle that an outsider would not understand unless they attended or are attending medical school. Lawyers, law enforcers and educators all share terms that are used to express specific things that they all would understand.
To use jargon effectively and efficiently is to use it only within that shared environment. People are not alienated when they all speak the same language. The speaker is not thrown off when they have to be interjected to explain terms and meanings
Usually in Sports or in certain occupations individuals within that circle would use words that each individual within that circle can identify with. Medical Practitioners would use terms within their circle that an outsider would not understand unless they attended or are attending medical school. Lawyers, law enforcers and educators all share terms that are used to express specific things that they all would understand.
To use jargon effectively and efficiently is to use it only within that shared environment. People are not alienated when they all speak the same language. The speaker is not thrown off when they have to be interjected to explain terms and meanings
Self Monitoring
When we are aware of the way we communicated, we will observe and regulate our behavior base on what we have assess to be in need of improvements. This will be based on the reception we receive from the people who we are trying to communicate information to.
It is a good practice to watch other people's reaction to you. They may not be aware that you are assessing their responses, but to improve yourself it is a good practice to read their body language, facial expressions and welcome direct criticism. These criticism can be taken constructively. Instead of being offended it is advisable to analyse the information.
Some people are unaware of a new situation or environment and are unsure of what is acceptable and was is not. Other people will most likely give a signal that will alert you if you are off tract so that adjustments can be made.
Self talking is in line with self monitoring. This process is advisable it allows you to be aware of the the feedback you are getting and it is you responding by being attentive in the putting correction to what was high lighted.
It is a good practice to watch other people's reaction to you. They may not be aware that you are assessing their responses, but to improve yourself it is a good practice to read their body language, facial expressions and welcome direct criticism. These criticism can be taken constructively. Instead of being offended it is advisable to analyse the information.
Some people are unaware of a new situation or environment and are unsure of what is acceptable and was is not. Other people will most likely give a signal that will alert you if you are off tract so that adjustments can be made.
Self talking is in line with self monitoring. This process is advisable it allows you to be aware of the the feedback you are getting and it is you responding by being attentive in the putting correction to what was high lighted.
Verbal Vividness
The art of giving an distinct image that the listener can get a clear precise picture of what you the verbal communicator is trying to share. To do this when speaking one can use examples by using 'for example' and give an accurate description that any listener would be able to identify with.
Vivid messages can only be triggered from vivid thoughts. You can only be vivid in your verbal communication when you have a sense of meaning of that which you are trying to share. This can be achieved also by use of metaphors and simile which are very effective and powerful.
However vivid you are, you main goal in communicating is to be clear and concise. Your words must be be understood and easily interpreted by the listener.
Vivid messages can only be triggered from vivid thoughts. You can only be vivid in your verbal communication when you have a sense of meaning of that which you are trying to share. This can be achieved also by use of metaphors and simile which are very effective and powerful.
However vivid you are, you main goal in communicating is to be clear and concise. Your words must be be understood and easily interpreted by the listener.
Cultural Identity
A person's culture is usually what their traditional practices are. It is the lifestyle of a group of people who share beliefs and practices such as religion, cultural wearing of a particular garments, food and language.
Identity is the characteristic of a person who displays the importance to these practices. They may do so by wearing the clothes that their culture would normally wear or they may speak the language though it may differ from the other people in their community.
We can determine a person's cultural identity by the practices they exhibit publicly. it is important to be able to be identified to a culture because we all share meaning with someone else. If there is no one to be socially identified to it can cause any individual to feel socially exiled and excluded from many activities.
Identity is the characteristic of a person who displays the importance to these practices. They may do so by wearing the clothes that their culture would normally wear or they may speak the language though it may differ from the other people in their community.
We can determine a person's cultural identity by the practices they exhibit publicly. it is important to be able to be identified to a culture because we all share meaning with someone else. If there is no one to be socially identified to it can cause any individual to feel socially exiled and excluded from many activities.
Culture Shock
When an individual becomes confused or experience anxiety when trying to understand or fit into another culture this can be said to be culture shock. This can arise from the person's unfamiliarity with local culture, languages and being unable to determine what is expected and acceptable behavior because the new environment is so much different from their own.
Adjusting to new cultures and practices are difficult because their are no shared meaning, there are no shared practices, beliefs, attitudes, values or behavior. Sometimes a visitor's is not fluent with the language of the country they are visiting causing verbal communication to be problematic.
It takes time to adjust to new cultures. It is recommended that a visitor observe the values, rituals and communication style that are similar and different from their own, study it and then immerse themselves in the culture by actively participating so as to expel all discomfort.
Ethnocentrism and Me
Ethnocentrism is the tendency to look at the world primarily from your perspective of one's own culture. It is of the view point that your culture is better and superior to someone else. It is judging every other culture on the basis of yours. Sometimes a person loudly criticizes and voice this declaration. This can cause animosity from the offended cultures and this may cause unnecessary tension, especially in mix societies. This can cause the offended to isolate themselves if they feel over powered by the more dominant culture.
I am not one to criticize other people's culture, in fact though they may be different some of them are really interesting. I think the best way to appreciate someone else 's culture is to first educate yourself about it. I would really love the opportunity to learn as many as I possibly can. The discovery channel is an educational way to learn these various culture within the comfort of your own home along with the library which is also a convenient source of educating one's self.
I would advise any individual, to first learn before they judge other culture and keep their opinion to themselves. It is a practice, a culture, a belief system and it is not up for opinions or suggestions. Respect others and their culture as you expect others to respect you and your culture. These advice I hold personally for myself as I believe that we all share one world and the variety of culture makes it even more beautiful.
I am not one to criticize other people's culture, in fact though they may be different some of them are really interesting. I think the best way to appreciate someone else 's culture is to first educate yourself about it. I would really love the opportunity to learn as many as I possibly can. The discovery channel is an educational way to learn these various culture within the comfort of your own home along with the library which is also a convenient source of educating one's self.
I would advise any individual, to first learn before they judge other culture and keep their opinion to themselves. It is a practice, a culture, a belief system and it is not up for opinions or suggestions. Respect others and their culture as you expect others to respect you and your culture. These advice I hold personally for myself as I believe that we all share one world and the variety of culture makes it even more beautiful.
Communication is Continuous
Communication is the process by which information is transmitted from one individual to another. This process requires a sender, a message and and intended receiver of the message. There must be a significant level of mutual understanding for the information to be correctly received and interpreted. When we exchange information, the process can take the form of written, oral or even gestures.
It is unrealistic to assume that messages are communicated without mistakes. It is inevitable to convey messages with occasional errors because during the process there are interferences such as environmental, psychological, semantic and physiological noise that are unavoidable.
However, to communicated as effectively and efficiently humanly possible is to ensure that we make adjustment within ourselves and constantly develop skills that will enable this growing process.
Listening is the foundation responding efficiently to the message. We assimilate information better when we develop and education ourselves in improving our communication skills. We are to be constantly aware of the messages we are sending whether verbal or non verbal, because we do not want to be misinterpreted or misinterpret any one else. Therefore it is a continuous journey of learning and improving of techniques that would allow to us to excel in this art of, 'COMMUNICATION!'
It is unrealistic to assume that messages are communicated without mistakes. It is inevitable to convey messages with occasional errors because during the process there are interferences such as environmental, psychological, semantic and physiological noise that are unavoidable.
However, to communicated as effectively and efficiently humanly possible is to ensure that we make adjustment within ourselves and constantly develop skills that will enable this growing process.
Listening is the foundation responding efficiently to the message. We assimilate information better when we develop and education ourselves in improving our communication skills. We are to be constantly aware of the messages we are sending whether verbal or non verbal, because we do not want to be misinterpreted or misinterpret any one else. Therefore it is a continuous journey of learning and improving of techniques that would allow to us to excel in this art of, 'COMMUNICATION!'
Sunday, 6 November 2011
Be Assertive
It is easy for us to be assertive among our family, friends and peers. We express to them how we feel about ourselves and we stand up for what we believe to be right. It always easier to share our thoughts, feelings and beliefs with them without a thought of how they will accept it.
It is said that assertion is a learned skilled not a trait. Assertiveness is expressing your personal likes and dislikes with respect to your personal rights while respecting the different likes, dislikes of others whilst it is also respecting the other person's rights.
In order to protect our rights and the rights of others we need to know what those rights are. This is where we would ask other people for advice, we can consult and request a feedback on how others may perceive us. We need and want to be assertive but not obnoxious. This will create a comfortable environment for yourself and others in your presence.
We need to monitor our behavior as well as others to help each other develop an Independence. We need to be honest and truthful in order to understand and meet each other needs.It is necessary to be direct, honest and to use appropriate ways to communicate our differences, respecting each other's personal opinion without denying the other person his right to express himself equally and freely.
Assertiveness Vs Non Assertiveness
It is said that assertion is a learned skilled not a trait. Assertiveness is expressing your personal likes and dislikes with respect to your personal rights while respecting the different likes, dislikes of others whilst it is also respecting the other person's rights.
In order to protect our rights and the rights of others we need to know what those rights are. This is where we would ask other people for advice, we can consult and request a feedback on how others may perceive us. We need and want to be assertive but not obnoxious. This will create a comfortable environment for yourself and others in your presence.
We need to monitor our behavior as well as others to help each other develop an Independence. We need to be honest and truthful in order to understand and meet each other needs.It is necessary to be direct, honest and to use appropriate ways to communicate our differences, respecting each other's personal opinion without denying the other person his right to express himself equally and freely.
Here's how to test how assertive you are:
- Answering spontaneously Vs Hesitant and avoids direct answer to a question
- Speaking with a conversational, yet firm tone and volume Vs Speaking softly(under breath)
- Looking at the other person Vs Looking away
- Addressing the main issues Vs Tends to fidget nervously
- Openly and confidently expressing personal feeling and opinion Vs Avoids issues
- Valuing yourself equal to others Vs Agrees regardless of personal feeling and opinion
- Confident Vs Lacks confident
- Being prepared to listen to the other person's point of view Vs Does not express opinions
- Hurting neither yourself or others Vs Suffers personal hurt to avoid any chance of hurting others
Time Is Of the Essence
Time is measured in minutes, hours, days, week, month, years and so on. However we equate time with opportunity. Our opportunities are not measured by the clock or the calendar but by what we do with the experiences we are given. It is important what we do with our time.
A day starts with 86,400 seconds which does not roll over if the 24 hours elapse. So it is very important that we invest it to good intentions and purpose. With each new day a fresh 24 hours is given to us, if at the end of that day we did not use the day's fresh hours given to us by our dear Father in heaven it is written off and we lose it.
We must invest it. If we do not use it we lose it never to regain it. Time is one resource that we all need but it's a scarce commodity unless we manage it properly.
Setting clear decisive planning for our time and ensuring that we do what we have set out to do without allowing deterrence or external things to interfere or distract us from getting to accomplish what we have intended to accomplish for that particular time. This is managing our time!
God has given us the breath of life with each new 24 hours that we awaken to. We need to first include Him within our schedule. Then we need time for family, time for assembling with our family of God, time for productive output of work and school, time for ourselves to evaluate and feed our selves with values that will generate productivity in all that we do, things that will make us better peoples as individuals. Time is of the essence, what we do with our time will reflect the essence of our personality.
A day starts with 86,400 seconds which does not roll over if the 24 hours elapse. So it is very important that we invest it to good intentions and purpose. With each new day a fresh 24 hours is given to us, if at the end of that day we did not use the day's fresh hours given to us by our dear Father in heaven it is written off and we lose it.
We must invest it. If we do not use it we lose it never to regain it. Time is one resource that we all need but it's a scarce commodity unless we manage it properly.
Setting clear decisive planning for our time and ensuring that we do what we have set out to do without allowing deterrence or external things to interfere or distract us from getting to accomplish what we have intended to accomplish for that particular time. This is managing our time!
God has given us the breath of life with each new 24 hours that we awaken to. We need to first include Him within our schedule. Then we need time for family, time for assembling with our family of God, time for productive output of work and school, time for ourselves to evaluate and feed our selves with values that will generate productivity in all that we do, things that will make us better peoples as individuals. Time is of the essence, what we do with our time will reflect the essence of our personality.
BOUNDARIES
Trustworthy...Dependable...Reliable...Faithful...are all the descriptions I have heard people referred to me as a person. These are in most times when people expects me to do them a favor of some kind.I feel obligated most times to fulfill my promises.And that's when in most situations I feel that I've been suckered into doing something. It does not matter now what's the reason was for giving into the initial request
We need to take responsibility for our tasks in our lives, we must know what is our job and what is not. It takes wisdom to know what we should and should not be doing for others. People who continually take on the responsibilities that are not their own will certainly become exhausted.
In our desire to please to please God and to help others we sometimes 'remove our nose and spoil the features of our face'. We try not to offend and to avoid conflict by trying to please people. We need to say 'NO!' sometimes. This may be hard for some of us but this will clear any misinformation or confusion to your responsibility and obligation to other people. It is your responsibility to know what is your responsibility and to know how much you can help other. You will be setting 'BOUNDARIES'.
We need to set mental, physical, emotional and spiritual boundaries for ourselves. This is to help us distinguish what is our responsibility and what is not. We need to set suitable boundaries at suitable times with suitable people.
Many of us are sincere, dedicated believers struggling with whether it is biblical to set boundaries. We want to know if it is appropriate to set limitation on how much we can and should help others. Is it possible to set boundaries and still be a loving, caring person? Will someone get upset if you refuse your assistance? Are boundaries selfish? What are legitimate boundaries to set up?
If you're a parent then you know although you tell your children no sometimes you love them but it's fit to say no at times. For those of you who have siblings, it is true to say that you do tell them no sometimes though you love them. And for those of you who have boyfriends /girlfriends or husbands/wives you absolutely say no sometimes...but you love them.
Saying 'no' is a normal part of your vocabulary, it's the response you give when you know that you are unable to do or give something if at the time it's putting you off. We do give in sometimes and that is not the problem. The problem is when it becomes overwhelming and its not beneficial to your health, it's when it's causing you undue pressure, fatigue and stress to get it done, and then it's not your problem it is some one's else issue.
We need to take responsibility for our tasks in our lives, we must know what is our job and what is not. It takes wisdom to know what we should and should not be doing for others. People who continually take on the responsibilities that are not their own will certainly become exhausted.
In our desire to please to please God and to help others we sometimes 'remove our nose and spoil the features of our face'. We try not to offend and to avoid conflict by trying to please people. We need to say 'NO!' sometimes. This may be hard for some of us but this will clear any misinformation or confusion to your responsibility and obligation to other people. It is your responsibility to know what is your responsibility and to know how much you can help other. You will be setting 'BOUNDARIES'.
We need to set mental, physical, emotional and spiritual boundaries for ourselves. This is to help us distinguish what is our responsibility and what is not. We need to set suitable boundaries at suitable times with suitable people.
Many of us are sincere, dedicated believers struggling with whether it is biblical to set boundaries. We want to know if it is appropriate to set limitation on how much we can and should help others. Is it possible to set boundaries and still be a loving, caring person? Will someone get upset if you refuse your assistance? Are boundaries selfish? What are legitimate boundaries to set up?
If you're a parent then you know although you tell your children no sometimes you love them but it's fit to say no at times. For those of you who have siblings, it is true to say that you do tell them no sometimes though you love them. And for those of you who have boyfriends /girlfriends or husbands/wives you absolutely say no sometimes...but you love them.
Saying 'no' is a normal part of your vocabulary, it's the response you give when you know that you are unable to do or give something if at the time it's putting you off. We do give in sometimes and that is not the problem. The problem is when it becomes overwhelming and its not beneficial to your health, it's when it's causing you undue pressure, fatigue and stress to get it done, and then it's not your problem it is some one's else issue.
Social Network
The Internet is a useful means of modern communication and it can feel personal and very private. As human being we have this need to keep in touch with our family, work associates, school friends, distant friends and relatives alike. This invention has brought about a comfort and a reliable source to mend some sever ties.
However, we need to ensure that our activities on the internet does not consume our time replacing direct interaction with families that are personally and literally present. At work and school we should be able to socialize and form real relationships, friendships and interpersonal skills that we need for our 'off the net' encounters.
To establish connections with friends we need a personal encounter. Although the net gives us easy access to friends by the clicking of a mouse we still need friends that we can meet, laugh and have fun with. It is only when we have met and have come to know someone personally can we say that we have connected and have made a friend.
Therefore in connecting with friends on social network though it's easy, accessible and fun we need to ensure that we do not replace real friends with impostors. We should not disconnect with what we have up close and personal for what are not sure about. We have people in our lives who we need to build and strengthen what already exist. Emerging ourselves in social network sometimes cause us to isolate ourselves from friends, family, co-workers, associates, school friends and prospectives friends or life partners.
Actual seeing, touching, feeling, listening are all components of us strengthening our socializing needs. We need to find some sort of balance in everything that we do. Technology has been to our advantage but we must not allow it to devour all other aspects of our lives. Our social network activities must not replace real life relationships.
It is in socializing that we can help each other, It is how we learn acceptable behavior. It's our contribution to society. Technology has not reach a level yet where we don't have leave our homes to go to school, work, the grocery store and other places, therefore we need to learn to socialize directly with another human being. It is for our mental, physical and emotional health. Everybody needs somebody, literally!
However, we need to ensure that our activities on the internet does not consume our time replacing direct interaction with families that are personally and literally present. At work and school we should be able to socialize and form real relationships, friendships and interpersonal skills that we need for our 'off the net' encounters.
To establish connections with friends we need a personal encounter. Although the net gives us easy access to friends by the clicking of a mouse we still need friends that we can meet, laugh and have fun with. It is only when we have met and have come to know someone personally can we say that we have connected and have made a friend.
Therefore in connecting with friends on social network though it's easy, accessible and fun we need to ensure that we do not replace real friends with impostors. We should not disconnect with what we have up close and personal for what are not sure about. We have people in our lives who we need to build and strengthen what already exist. Emerging ourselves in social network sometimes cause us to isolate ourselves from friends, family, co-workers, associates, school friends and prospectives friends or life partners.
Actual seeing, touching, feeling, listening are all components of us strengthening our socializing needs. We need to find some sort of balance in everything that we do. Technology has been to our advantage but we must not allow it to devour all other aspects of our lives. Our social network activities must not replace real life relationships.
It is in socializing that we can help each other, It is how we learn acceptable behavior. It's our contribution to society. Technology has not reach a level yet where we don't have leave our homes to go to school, work, the grocery store and other places, therefore we need to learn to socialize directly with another human being. It is for our mental, physical and emotional health. Everybody needs somebody, literally!
S.O.E.
Trinidad and Tobago's constitution states that ' a State of Emergency' may be declared by the President of the Republic or upon the advice of the Prime Minister when:
1) The security of the country is threatened by war.
2) There is a public emergency as a result of an earthquake, hurricane, flood, fire and outbreak of pestilence, infectious disease or other calamity. and
3) If public safety is endangered or is about to be endangered or a large part of the community is deprived of supplies or services essential to life.
The imposition of the State of Emergency by the government has come with the implementing of a curfew which states that ALL civilians MUST be off the streets initially from 9pm to 5am however it now stands from 11pm to 4am. This was said to be imposed due to the increase of crimes in our country.
The intention of the S.O.E. was said to tackle criminal elements and to remove all the attachments that comes with all such activities as drugs and ammunition. This will allow all citizens and visitors to feel safer.
I had experience a State of Emergency back in July 1990 where an attempted coup was in progress. At that time whilst some citizens was looting and burning buildings I was totally engrossed in reading a few novels. At the end of that state of affairs I had read 13 novels, it helped me transport myself away from the ugly realities of that period to more pleasant things I had found in my readings.
This time is definitely different besides being older I cannot find time to transport myself from my responsibilities. However, I have indeed felt a little safer and though the streets are empty there is a stillness that is not usually experienced. This experience has not affected too much because I am usually indoors relatively early.
I know that it may be an inconvenient to some people who feel that their constitutional rights of free movements were infringed. I also know that there are some individuals who have had a bad experience in this situation.I do hope that at the end of it all the government would have accomplished what they expected to have achieve by the implementation of the S.O.E. in the first instance.
I would like to share with you the this prayer: 'God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I CAN and KNOWLEDGE to know the difference!'
1) The security of the country is threatened by war.
2) There is a public emergency as a result of an earthquake, hurricane, flood, fire and outbreak of pestilence, infectious disease or other calamity. and
3) If public safety is endangered or is about to be endangered or a large part of the community is deprived of supplies or services essential to life.
The imposition of the State of Emergency by the government has come with the implementing of a curfew which states that ALL civilians MUST be off the streets initially from 9pm to 5am however it now stands from 11pm to 4am. This was said to be imposed due to the increase of crimes in our country.
The intention of the S.O.E. was said to tackle criminal elements and to remove all the attachments that comes with all such activities as drugs and ammunition. This will allow all citizens and visitors to feel safer.
I had experience a State of Emergency back in July 1990 where an attempted coup was in progress. At that time whilst some citizens was looting and burning buildings I was totally engrossed in reading a few novels. At the end of that state of affairs I had read 13 novels, it helped me transport myself away from the ugly realities of that period to more pleasant things I had found in my readings.
This time is definitely different besides being older I cannot find time to transport myself from my responsibilities. However, I have indeed felt a little safer and though the streets are empty there is a stillness that is not usually experienced. This experience has not affected too much because I am usually indoors relatively early.
I know that it may be an inconvenient to some people who feel that their constitutional rights of free movements were infringed. I also know that there are some individuals who have had a bad experience in this situation.I do hope that at the end of it all the government would have accomplished what they expected to have achieve by the implementation of the S.O.E. in the first instance.
I would like to share with you the this prayer: 'God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things I CAN and KNOWLEDGE to know the difference!'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
